Pay Attention, People!

While walking out of a grocery store today, I paused at the crosswalk.  Why?  Because I saw a car coming.  But, pedestrians have the right of way.  On paper, but in reality… if I had walked across the crosswalk, that car would have hit me.  Pay Attention, People!  I’m so thankful I waited before crossing. 

This got me on a bit of a pet peeve rant.  Hold on, here we go…

Staying on the grocery store topic.  Why do people stop their cart (or buggy, depending on where you are from) in the middle of the aisle?  They become so engrossed in looking for what they want that they are unaware of their surroundings.  It could be they just don’t care that they are blocking the entire aisle and people are trying to get past them.  I sure hope not.  Pay Attention, People!

How about trying to get through a green light?  People are so involved in other things happening in their cars (cell phones, makeup, kids) that they don’t even notice that the light has turned green.  Green means go!  There are times when I sit through a light changing two or three times before I get through.  If drivers would go when the light turns green, I could have gotten through the first change. Pay Attention, People!

Apparently, these pet peeves are not mine alone.  I’ve spoken with a number of people who have expressed the same frustrations.

Here’s one you may not have heard of, it still comes under the category of “Pay Attention, People!”

Independence Day is coming up soon and people like to set fireworks off at home, on any given day on or around the 4^th of July.  That is great fun, for the people setting them off.  Not so much fun for the people who aren’t expecting fireworks to go shooting into the air over their house.

Last year we had someone shooting off fireworks at 10PM, after many in the neighborhood had gone to bed.  Another person I know told me about someone setting off fireworks, on July 2^nd.  Her husband, who is a combat veteran was not prepared to hear those types of noises two days before the 4^th and ended up sitting in a fetal position covering his ears and crying.  Know your neighbors.  If you have a neighbor with small children set your fireworks off earlier. If you have a combat veteran as a neighbor, let them know a little bit before you send those rockets into the air, so they can be mentally prepared for it or go to the mall to avoid the noise.  Be considerate.  Pay Attention, People!

*Pam Horton is the coordinator of Military Family Ministries at Hope Community Church.

Leaving The Nest

I witnessed the coolest thing this morning!  A baby house finch bird apparently had just flown from its nest and wasn’t quite sure what to do next.

I spotted it on our fence and decided to see if I could get some decent photos of it trying to fly.  I didn’t, because it didn’t.  I was actually afraid one of the hawks that like to hang out in the area might come down and swoop it up.  I did watch it for a while, though.

At one point “daddy” came near it and flew off again, only to return with food for the baby.  I did get some cool pictures of that.  Off daddy went, for quite a long time.  The baby seemed to be looking at its nest, or perhaps at its daddy, but daddy didn’t come back – Until…

The momma bluebird stuck her head out of the bluebird house.  As I was trying to get the camera lens focused on her, she flew out, directly toward the baby house finch.  Next thing I knew, Daddy house finch flew at the momma bluebird and chaos ensued.  It all happened so quickly that I couldn’t get my camera focused on anything.  And then it was over.

Somehow the baby finch had made it to the safety of our trellis and daddy had chased momma bluebird away.  The baby was left alone for a little bit, but then the daddy came to encourage it along.  The baby hopped along down the fence, following its daddy, out of my site.

How typical “human parent/child-like” was that scenario?  Think about our children, leaving home for the first time. 

Parents know their children need to make it on their own.  Hopefully, they have taught them life skills during the time they have lived at home.  Finally, the day comes and our baby needs to leave the “nest.”  I tell parents all the time, “Birds gotta fly.” 

Often, we let them try to succeed on their own.  We aren’t too far away though.  If we see they are struggling, we may stop over with some food for them.  If we seem them in imminent danger, we usually rush in to save them, make sure they are safe, and then let them try it again.

I’m not saying we need to be helicopter parents, hovering over their every move.  Just that it is nice for our adult children to know when push comes to shove, their parents have their back.  I think that’s okay.  Everybody needs a little encouragement, or a little help, every now and then. 

Love from a distance, assist when necessary.  It works.

*Pam Horton is a certified Parenting Coach in the Raleigh area.

Control your thoughts

I happened upon a video this morning about how your thoughts control your feelings.  I thought it made such a good point that I was going to be lazy and just post the video link in this week’s blog and get on with my day.  BUT after the very good point came a very strong sales pitch.  I don’t like a strong sales pitch.  So, I choose not to share the video with you.  I’ll recap it for you…

 As I have posted, many times, your thoughts effect your feelings and your actions, so try to keep your thoughts positive.  That’s today’s message in a nutshell, grin. 

 This particular video addressed having your feelings hurt, by others.  We all know people who are sensitive and get their feelings hurt easily.  However, their feelings are hurt because they allow their thought process to be negative. 

 For example…

If someone comments that you aren’t very strong, and you happen to be a very fit and fairly strong person, you think, “They have no idea what they are talking about.”

 On the flip side, if someone comments that you aren’t very strong, and you are out of shape and aren’t very strong, you might think, “They are right, I’m a weakling.”  You might even take it to extremes and think, “I’m fat, weak, ugly, my hair is a mess, my outfit doesn’t look good.  I’m worthless.”

It wasn’t their words that hurt your feelings, it was your thought process after the words were said.

 The trick is to change your thought process. 

 For example:

If someone comments that you aren’t very strong, and you are out of shape and aren’t very strong, you could think, “It doesn’t matter what they think, I like me just the way I am.”  OR “Yeah, I’ve been thinking I need to get in shape.  It’s time to buckle down and take my health seriously.”  If they happen to be a good friend or family member, you may even ask them to work out with you.

 Yes, people can be jerks and some people enjoy saying mean things to push other people’s buttons and watch them get upset.  You don’t have to let them have that control over your thought process.  Find a way to keep your thoughts positive and you will discover your feelings aren’t being hurt as much and you have a more positive outlook on life.

 (Okay, here come MY really strong sales pitch)…

*PamHorton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

Have a great weekend!

Music and emotion

People enjoy all different kinds of music.  Many of us change our preferred music as we go through the changes of life.

 Personally, I was into Rock & Roll, then Disco, then Pop, then Country, and now Contemporary Christian music.  I never had any interest in Grunge, Punk, Rap, or Heavy Metal.  I know there are now a couple other genres that I have no clue what they really are (techno stuff). 

 With each of those different musical phases, I was at different life phases.  The music I listened to really spoke to me, emotionally, at each phase.  As my life changed, so did my taste in music.

 It’s funny, lately we have been watching docudramas of what some would consider “oldies” music (The Beach Boys and The Beatles).  As I type, Jim is watching something about the Grateful Dead.  I guess once a “Dead Head”, always a Dead Head.  I never really understood that music, but… to each his own.

 I bet if you think about it, you will recognize the different types of music you listened to grooved with the stage of life you were in.  Do you see how the music you listen to has changed from when you were in high school?  Or, perhaps it hasn’t. 

 Maybe you are a person who has been pretty steady in the way you live your life.  It could be you have had very little change as you have gotten older.  That could be absolutely fine, as long as you are happy in the lifestyle (and music) you are living.

 Some of you might be thinking about this and realizing you are listening to the same old music you’ve always listened to and you feel like you’re stuck in a rut.  We tend to adapt to our surroundings.  If our surroundings are not that great, we begin to feel our lives are not that great.  If you are listening to depressing or angry music and you find yourself unhappy and angry, it may be time to change your music.

 It’s amazing how something as simple as listening to more upbeat, positive, or relaxing music can impact your emotions. 

I happen to listen to Contemporary Christian music, almost exclusively.  It keeps my mind in the proper positive, peaceful, perspective.  Some days I find it very beneficial to my mindset. 

 If you’re thinking it’s time to change your mindset and find some new music, I highly recommend Contemporary Christian music.  But, maybe that’s not your thing.  Okay.  You could try Easy Listening, Cool Jazz, Classical (ick), or any number of other genres that could be kinder to your emotional mindset than what you may currently be listening too.

 Go ahead, change the station.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

*PamHorton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

One worn knee

I have recently noticed that all the pants I wear for substitute teaching are worn thin at the right knee.  Two even have small rips in them now.  It took me a little while to realize that my right knee is always the knee I put down when I get down to look a child in the face (which can be many times a day).

Once I became aware of it I tried to be conscious of putting my left knee down.  Can’t do it.  Well, I can, but it feels weird, so I switch back to the right knee.  Could I force myself to stay on the left knee?  Sure I could.  It would certainly help my pants last longer.  We’re talking about pants here though, and while I will have to replace three pairs of work pants this year I really don’t want to put the effort into trying to teach myself to put my left knee down.  In the grand scheme of things, it just doesn’t seem that important.

However… there are things that people do, automatically or without really realizing it, that would be worth the effort to try and change. Some of these things deal with physical health, mental health, and even the treatment of others.

How many people do you know who automatically

·         reach for a cigarette, one after another

·         grab a soda, instead of water

·         reach for an unhealthy snack because they are reading, or bored

·         complain about their life

·         find the negative in a situation

·         use a condescending tone of voice

·         sound irritated or angry

·         yell

·         or any other number of things

The way we treat ourselves, and others, can be damaging.  Some of us need to think about the things we do, or ask a close friend or relative if they have noticed things we may be doing, without even realizing it, that could be harmful.  There may be people who don’t have anything to be concerned about.  Lucky them!  There may also be people who need to concentrate on changing some things, so that they can live a better, longer, life.  Which one are you?

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

Memorial Day Weekend

I originally wrote this in 2012.  It received so many positive comments that I decided to repost it every year, just as it was written then.  God bless our troops and their families as we remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country.

Memorial Day Weekend

What will you be doing this weekend?   Attending a cookout, going on a picnic, boating, beachin’ it, maybe attending a parade?  Maybe you will be going to Washington, DC. to participate in the festivities (or more aptly put, the honoring of memories) and be lucky enough to see Rolling Thunder pass through.  http://dc.about.com/od/specialevents/a/RollingThunder.htm

Have we, as a nation, forgotten the true purpose of Memorial Day?  Do our children know what Memorial Day is really about? 

Memorial Day has become a weekend of fun for many families.  It has also become a day to remember anyone who has passed away.  I dare say, most families do not need a special day to remember a loved one who is no longer with them. 

As a reminder…  Memorial Day is a day to honor, and respectfully remember, those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for our country.   This is a great link about the history of Memorial Day - http://www.usmemorialday.org/backgrnd.html.

This year is especially dear to my family.  You see, our son is in the Army.  Two soldiers from his platoon did not return from their deployment, about six months ago.  I know those men are never far from their buddies thoughts, and I imagine this weekend may be tough for them.  My husband and I will be spending our time working on the yard and grilling out, here at home.  I can tell you though, that we will be remembering those brave souls who gave their lives so that we may continue to live in the land of the free.  We will offer up prayers for the family members, friends, and battle buddies who lost loved ones in the wars. 

Yes, America IS at war.  It may not seem like it here on US soil, but American service members put their lives on the line, every hour of every day, so that we may enjoy our freedom here in the good ole’ USA.  Not only are our deployed military losing their lives, but many of our troops here at home lose the battle of struggling to survive with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  The unseen wounds of war continue to take a toll on our returning veterans.

Did you know the President passed a resolution in 2000 about a moment of silence on Memorial Day?  I don’t think I knew that.  I came across it in my research for this blog.  Here it is - http://www.usmemorialday.org/Speeches/President/may0200.txt

In short, it calls for a moment of silence at 3PM on each Memorial Day.

I do not mean to take away anyone’s fun.  I apologize if this blog has been a downer.  It is meant to be an eye-opener, a reminder.  Yes, ENJOY your long weekend, but please do take a moment at 3PM on Monday to remember those who gave all, and those who live on without them.

Let me leave you with one more link.  It’s a video, it’s been around before.  It’s a tearjerker, but it’s a great video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gfnmDGk0KM

Have a great weekend!  HOOAH!

Why am I awake?!

The short answer is… because my husband’s alarm went off and he didn’t wake up to shut it off before it woke me up. 

I looked at the clock and turned over, knowing I didn’t have to get up for another hour.

Why am I awake?  The real answer to my question is that my brain kicked in.

Yup, you know the feeling.  Lying in bed with every intention of going to sleep when those pesky thoughts of the day ahead start running through your brain.  Try as you might, they won’t stop and you can’t get to sleep.

Often times, people’s brain’s kick in just when they are starting to go to sleep, or, even worse, in the middle of the night.  I thought I’d give you a few tips for getting back to sleep when that happens to you…

·         Concentrate of your breathing.  Literally say to yourself, “In”, “Out”, as you breathe each direction.  It gives your mind something to think about and is so boring you will eventually drift off.

·         I read that keeping your hands and feet warm (not hot) will help you sleep.  The article suggested putting on a pair of socks.  I know, if I wake up cold, and put on socks, I go right back to sleep.  Might be worth a try!

·         If you’ve been trying to sleep for 30 minutes with no success – get up.  Lying in bed thinking about the fact you are not falling asleep doesn’t help matters.

·         Some studies say that a small amount of carbs can help you sleep.  On those rare occasions that I struggle getting to sleep, I get up, get a ½ a slice of bread (plain – nothing on it), and eat that while reading for 30mins or so.  It seems to “reset” my system and I can usually drift right off, upon returning to bed.

Luckily for me, it was almost time to get up anyway.  So, I gave up on the indulgent idea of going back to sleep, got up, grabbed some coffee, and embraced the day.  I hope you are able to embrace your day, today, as well.

*Pam Horton is a certified Stress Management coach in the Raleigh area.*