What would YOU have done?

I did my weekly shopping at WalMart today.  I used the self check out.  While putting my bags in the car, I heard something slap down on the wires of the cart.  Something was not in a bag.  I had not noticed, not scanned, not paid for, and not bagged one item.

To be totally honest, this was my thought process…

·         It’s cold out here and I want to go home, just toss it in the car and leave.

·         No, that’s not right.  I need to go in and pay for it.  It’s only $5 bucks, I have that in cash.

I go back in the exit section of the self check out area and tell the cashier that I discovered something I had not paid for.  She said, “Okay.”  That was it!  There was no fanfare, no comments about my honesty, no nothing, just “Okay.”

And then, the item was $10.00, not five.  WHAT?  I sighed and rummaged deeper into my pocket for the cash.

Even though it wasn’t quite as easy as I thought it was going to be, and I received no kudos for my choice to go back in, I feel it was the right thing to do.  I think, if I had just chucked the item in the car and left, it would have bothered me to no end.

If I had gone through a regular checkout line and the cashier had made the error, would I have gone back?   If it had been a $50.00 item, would I have gone back?  Yes, I would have.  Theft is theft, no matter if it was accidental.  Once it becomes known, there is a choice to be made. 

The fact that I didn’t receive a parade when I went back means a number of other folks have made the same mistake I did and come to the same conclusion.  It feels good to do the right thing, the honest thing, the morally correct thing.

Be honest with yourself… What would YOU have done? 

If you had gone ahead and gotten in your car and left, perhaps it’s time to ponder your views and your values.  Consider what that choice would look like to those around you, especially those within your circle of influence.  Children and grandchildren look to their elders to learn the proper way to behave in society.  Be a good example for them.

If you’d have gone back and paid for the item, the cashier wouldn’t acknowledge that, but I will. 

Good for you!  

Rest in Peace

Jim’s dad passed away on Monday.  Today would have been his 90^th birthday.  I have been doing a lot of pondering about death, heaven, and the phrase, rest in peace.

We see it often, when someone dies.  It’s even on gravestones (R.I.P.)  What does that look like?

Of course, the Bible gives us glimpses of heaven through descriptions from Jesus and the eyes of John.  If you believe the Bible to be true, we are assured of pearly gates, streets of gold, no darkness (as the light of God fills all space), and to be in His presence, always.

There have been many humans who have described seeing heaven while having a “near-death” experience.  One of the most recent and well known is the child in the book/movie Heaven is Real.  If you believe those people, we are assured of seeing fellow believers, friends and family who have arrived before us.

Numerous songs have been written about heaven, all telling us how marvelously wonderful it will be.

Personally, I believe these descriptions to be true.  Sometimes I have even wondered if heaven is so amazing, why don’t we all want to be there, now.  That would nullify our whole existence, though.  Wouldn’t it?  

We are born, not understanding what is happening.  Leaving our warm and cozy comfort zone, being thrust into a world we didn’t ask to be in, screaming the whole time. 

Life tends to be a bit of a roller coaster and then, as you know, death comes to us all.  Some of us are tragically gone in a second, others suffer through a long drawn out illness.  The lucky ones, pass from this world while sleeping peacefully.

In almost every instance, we say, “May they rest in peace.”  Is this meaning that they didn’t live in peace?  That only in heaven can we have true peace?  Does it mean that heaven is peaceful?  That we will sit around, at the feet of Jesus, singing hallelujah forever?  

I would suggest we can live in peace, if we have accepted the peace of Christ.  That doesn’t mean we have an easy life.  It means that no matter the circumstances we can remain relatively stress free, knowing that God’s got this. 

When our time comes, to leave this world and meet The Father, I hope we can all make the journey peacefully.  

I want to transition peacefully, but I think there will be a wild celebration as Jesus, and my deceased family members welcome me into the fold.  With each person who declares Jesus as their savior, I want to celebrate their eventual homecoming.  

I’m not so sure that we will rest in “worldly” peace.  I think it’s more likely we will rest in grace and celebratory joy.

What defines you?

 We recently visited my car. 

 Ok, we were seeing our kids and grandkids, but our older son has my old car and, well, I miss it (and it’s a funny statement).

 The reality is, I did love that car, but my family comes before everything else.  I had owned my car for 16 years, but when our son’s vehicle was totaled in an accident, they needed a vehicle and I gave mine up and got a new one.

 When I changed cars people I didn’t even know commented on it.  Two bank tellers, a pharmacist and a police officer all asked me if I had gotten a new car.  Isn’t that funny?  I suppose I should be honored that they recognized me without my yellow car.  The new one is blue, but… that doesn’t change who I am.  I am not my car.  My car does not determine who I am.

 So many people get wrapped up in what they think defines them, in how people identify them.  For instance, some people identify themselves by their:

·         Job

·         Clothes

·         Coffee

·         Spouse

·         School

·         Vehicle

·         House

·         Sports

·         Political affiliation

·         And more

 I have a news flash for you… you are not what you (fill in the blank). 

What you own, what you do, how well you do it, who you know… these are all things outside of yourself.  They are not you.  You are a person who has or enjoys these things, but who you are is not determined by things.

 Who you are is determined by your beliefs, thoughts, and actions… by your morals and values.  These are the things that define you.

 You can have the most awesome car, so cool that everyone recognizes it and knows it is you when you drive by, but if you are a foul-mouthed bully people will identify you as such.  They might say, “There goes that jerk in the yellow car.”  But they are identifying you as a jerk first.

 You could drive the oldest piece of junk in town but be a kind person who assists others whenever they ask.  People will probably say, “There goes so&so” when you drive by, with no mention of the vehicle you drive.

 There is a difference.

 For me, I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made, a child of God, and I will stand on that Rock all day long.

 What defines you?

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach.

Facebook Fakers

 You know the ones.  They are the people who have a “perfect” life.  They always look meticulous. Their kids are athletic, brilliant models.  The house is decorated for even the most obscure holiday. Their marriage is great, their job is great, and they are philanthropists.   NOT.

 I happen to know a few people who are lying through their lens, and their posts.  Their lives are not even close to what they post on their social media sights.

 I saw a commercial recently that even shows people staging their photos.  Seriously?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EFHbruKEmw

 Studies have found over one-fifth of young adults (aged 18 to 24) admit that their online profile bears little resemblance to their real lives.  Let’s be honest, plenty of older adults are Facebook fakers, too.

 Why do people feel the need to be perfect on social media sites?  Are we afraid people won’t like the real us?  In our desire to “conform” to what society tries to tell us we should be, have we lost our sense of self.  Can we not find the humor in our lives and post honest information?

 Of course, you have the other direction, too.  People who exaggerate their troubles, or maybe even make them up.  Some just for sympathy, others to stir the pot, and still others who are trying to hack your info.

 I saw this article about the 7 biggest scams of 2018… https://securityintelligence.com/what-are-the-seven-biggest-social-media-scams-of-2018/

 Here are a few tips for Facebook/social media use…

1.      Just because it’s on social media doesn’t mean it’s true.

2.      Do your research before sharing someone else’s post, make sure it’s accurate.

3.      Be yourself.  Don’t share every gory detail of your life, and don’t’ over-exaggerate, find a middle ground you can be comfortable with.

4.      Avoid conflict and chaos, if you feel the need to call someone out, do it privately.

5.      Walk away from the computer and interact with people face to face, they get to know the real you and you get to know the real them.

 Facebook is a wonderful tool, when it is used properly.

Teamwork can be tough

Isn’t it funny how just observing your surroundings can bring a life lesson to mind?

I was at a park where I noticed a red convertible car balanced on a giant spring, a playground toy.  In the car were two little girls, I’d say 4ish.  One was rocking back and forth and the other was rocking forth and back.  Basically they were rocking in opposite directions and rocking themselves into a sweat, but the car had very little movement going on.  Every once in a while they would accidentally end up rocking together and the car would rock with them – YEA!  Then they would get off sync again and be back to going nowhere.  Eventually, one of the girls stopped rocking and let the other one do all the work.  The car moved, but the one doing all the work got tired quickly and it wasn’t long before both girls exited the car for the swings (an individually controlled toy).  The entire interaction took about 5 minutes.  Note here that not once did I see them speak to each other.  A classic case of actions speak louder than words?

It crossed my mind that the struggle these girls were going through was much like teamwork, or lack thereof, in a real life situation.  I told my friend, “I just saw my next blog,” and she chuckled.

Isn’t it a life like situation? 

How many times have you tried to accomplish something only to have someone else trying to accomplish the same task but in the totally opposite way you are working on it, consequently, nothing gets done?

How about trying to help someone, getting nowhere, and giving up to let them struggle on their own?

We even see giving up when the work gets too hard or quitting when you realize you’re the only one doing any work.  Hmm, yes this little scene can definitely be transferred to a real life scenario.

I’m sure you noticed that I mentioned I never saw the girls talk with each other.  They may have been total strangers, but I doubt it.  I imagine they were at least friends, if not sisters.  Either way, I think maybe a little communication would have greatly helped.  Don’t you?  

Maybe, “Hey! You’re not rocking right.”  Or “Let’s both rock the same way.”  One could have said, “If you don’t help me, I’m getting off”  or  “Quit trying to do it all yourself.”  There are many things that could have been said. Although, they may have been observing the Golden Rule, If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

To make a long story short - My point is, if you’re working with another person – cooperation and communication are essential to make the effort a success.