Why am I awake?!

The short answer is… because my husband’s alarm went off and he didn’t wake up to shut it off before it woke me up. 

I looked at the clock and turned over, knowing I didn’t have to get up for another hour.

Why am I awake?  The real answer to my question is that my brain kicked in.

Yup, you know the feeling.  Lying in bed with every intention of going to sleep when those pesky thoughts of the day ahead start running through your brain.  Try as you might, they won’t stop and you can’t get to sleep.

Often times, people’s brain’s kick in just when they are starting to go to sleep, or, even worse, in the middle of the night.  I thought I’d give you a few tips for getting back to sleep when that happens to you…

·         Concentrate of your breathing.  Literally say to yourself, “In”, “Out”, as you breathe each direction.  It gives your mind something to think about and is so boring you will eventually drift off.

·         I read that keeping your hands and feet warm (not hot) will help you sleep.  The article suggested putting on a pair of socks.  I know, if I wake up cold, and put on socks, I go right back to sleep.  Might be worth a try!

·         If you’ve been trying to sleep for 30 minutes with no success – get up.  Lying in bed thinking about the fact you are not falling asleep doesn’t help matters.

·         Some studies say that a small amount of carbs can help you sleep.  On those rare occasions that I struggle getting to sleep, I get up, get a ½ a slice of bread (plain – nothing on it), and eat that while reading for 30mins or so.  It seems to “reset” my system and I can usually drift right off, upon returning to bed.

Luckily for me, it was almost time to get up anyway.  So, I gave up on the indulgent idea of going back to sleep, got up, grabbed some coffee, and embraced the day.  I hope you are able to embrace your day, today, as well.

*Pam Horton is a certified Stress Management coach in the Raleigh area.*

Everyone Starts at the Beginning

Remember learning how to ride a bike, or roller skate, or swim?  Maybe for you it was learning to write your numbers and letters, or type on a keypad, or use a smart phone.  We could even take it to the very basics of learning to walk and talk, we all had to do that.

The point is, everyone starts at the beginning of something.  When you learn something new, you aren’t an expert, you’re a beginner. 

Some people get embarrassed about their inability to achieve perfection when they are first learning something.  There is absolutely no need for embarrassment.  Chances are, the person teaching you was in the same situation you find yourself in… a beginner… learning to become better.

Of course, the flip side of that is some people get frustrated when they are partnered with a beginner.  They seem to have forgotten that everyone starts at the beginning, even them.  These folks tend to get upset when paired with a newbie in a sporting event, because they are so focused on winning.  They might get angry having to wait behind someone who is using some technology equipment, because they are in a hurry, or just plain impatient.

Sometimes it helps to remind them that they had to learn it at one time, too.

If you are dealing with a beginner, in whatever capacity, here are a few tips to help alleviate their embarrassment and your frustration…

·         Be patient

·         Be kind

·         Explain things as often as needed

·         Check for understanding

·         Ask if they have any questions

·         Let them try it

·         Assist them, don’t do it for them

·         Take it at their pace, not yours

·         Gently guide and encourage

·         Expect beginner level results

·         Remember that you were once a beginner

If you are just learning something, give yourself some time.  Most people don’t become experts overnight, or even in a week, or possibly a month.  Remember, everyone starts at the beginning, and practice makes perfect.

*Pam Horton is a certified Stress Management coach in the Raleigh area.*

Keeping Commitments

“Will you keep this commitment?” I think this is a valid question.  I find that people can’t, don’t, or won’t keep the commitments they have made.  Whether it’s to a

·         spouse

·         job

·         organization

·         parent

·         child

·         or friend

Many times people seem to have a hard time keeping a commitment.

Let’s take a look at the definition of commitment…

a pledge or promise; obligation.  Also, engagement; involvement
Dictionary.com says the word is a noun, (so it’s a thing, which means it requires an action). 
You make a pledge or a promise which then obligates you to engagement or involvement.

Okay, I’ll agree with that.  Perhaps even more simply put… A commitment is actually doing what you said you were going to do.

You know, I’ll be the first one to say that “life happens.”  Things come up and they are in conflict with another commitment we have made.  That’s when priorities comes into play.  I will also be the first one to say “family first,” meaning that my family takes priority.  However, that is still not an excuse not to honor your commitment.

Here are some steps to follow if you discover a conflict in your schedule…

·         Let someone know ASAP

·         Try to get someone to cover for you

·         Ask for assistance in getting someone to cover for you

·         Cancel your commitment well ahead of the day and time it is to happen

It is certainly understandable when emergencies happen that you have to cancel, even at the last minute.  Please make sure that you, or someone you’ve asked to help you, let’s all people involved know the event has been cancelled.

I see absolutely no reason that something a person has known about for days, or longer, gets cancelled at the last minute.  Or, that people just drop out of a commitment, or even worse, are a no call/no show for no reason other than they didn’t feel like it.   Yup, pet peeve.

One last comment, if you aren’t positive you can keep the commitment to ____(fill in the blank)____ at least 90% of the time, don’t make it!  It’s tough on relationships when you let people down.

Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now.

*Pam Horton is a certified Stress Management coach in the Raleigh area.*