Respecting Others

I was walking down an aisle in the grocery store recently and witnessed a group of young women walking and talking together as they slowly strolled along.  An aisle or two away, an elderly man and his visually impaired wife turned the corner and came into the path of the ladies.  As the man, pushed his cart and guided his wife he slowly approached the group. They kept walking and talking towards the couple not giving an inch of space.  

For a moment it looked like a game of “Chicken” and I was appalled to see the elderly couple veer around the group of women, as the ladies just kept on walking and talking.

Was it intentional?  Did the three young ladies purposely stand their ground and not give way to an elderly couple?

Were they unaware?  Was the conversation they were having so totally engrossing that they didn’t even realize they were on a collision course with the couple and their cart?

Could it have been ignorance on their part?  Maybe no one ever taught them to respect their elders, or to be courteous to others?

No matter the excuse, in my personal opinion, the three should have moved around the man and his wife.  It’s like

·         holding the door for someone

·         picking up something that has been dropped when the other person has their hands full

·         offering to help someone carry their bags, when they obviously have too many to handle

It’s the right thing to do.  It’s the kind thing to do.

How can we be sure that our children are aware of the various ways to show kindness to others?  The answer is simple.  We lead by example.  We teach our children to be aware of their surroundings, so they can see a need/meet a need.  And then, we walk the talk.

When children are young, they are very impressionable.  They will copy what their parents do.  Be aware.  Little eyes are watching, and little ears are listening.  Of course, once they become teenagers, many children choose to try not to be anything like their parents.  But, what they’ve learned early in life sticks with them.  

Be a great example for your children to emulate.  Behave as you would like them to behave.  Show them the path to follow.  Kindness matters.

*Pam Horton is a certified Parenting Coach in the Raleigh area.

Pickleball Analogies

Many of you know Jim and I enjoy the game of Pickleball.  While playing recently, I got to pondering how the rules of Pickleball are like the rules of life.  For instance, consider…

Stay out of the kitchen

This Pickleball rule is in place to prevent players from executing smashes from a position close to the net.

                This life rule can be taken jokingly, for people who want to avoid cooking.  In reality, the kitchen tends to be a gathering place.  Lots of conversations take place there.  Often, being told to stay out of the kitchen can mean to mind your own business. 

Stay within the boundaries

                This Pickleball rule tells us we must keep the ball "inbounds."  Breaking this rule can mean we lose our turn to serve, or the opposing team gets a point.

                This translates to “follow the rules set forth by those in authority,” whether that be the government, your school, or your parents.  When be break the boundaries, there are often unpleasant consequences.  Of course, there are times when we are encouraged to "think outside the box." Being creative is a wonderful trait, but even outside the box, there are invisible boundaries that we must adhere to.

This is not golf; there are no Mulligan's

 In Pickleball, like in many sports, your turn is your turn.  Make an error, and it's someone else's turn.  There are no "do-overs."   However, if gameplay continues, you will have another chance.

 The same rule applies to life.  There are no "do-overs."  You can't take back what has already been done, or not done, but you will probably get another chance to try your best to succeed.

Apologize when you hurt someone

                I can't tell you how many times a partner will apologize because they made a poor shot.  I always say, "You don't need to apologize unless you hit me in the face."  Everyone makes a poor shot now and then, even the pros, but if you hurt someone, you need to apologize.

                The same rule stands if you hurt anyone off the court.  Whether it be physically, emotionally, verbally, or socially, we should not intend to harm others.  If you accidentally do, go to that person and apologize.

Have fun

                Pickleball is a game.  Games are designed to be fun.  Enjoy it.

 Life is a journey that has its ups and downs.  How we respond to those ups and downs determines whether we enjoy life or not.  Many people have the best of everything, yet they do not enjoy life.  Others have little to nothing and have learned to be happy in their circumstances.  Enjoy life.  Choose to have fun.

*Pam considers herself an intermediate Pickleball player and always has fun, win or lose.  She especially enjoys playing against her husband, Jim, as they challenge each other to be better players.

Riding out Florence

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend who is frantic about the incoming hurricane.  She was tracking it relentlessly and checking her phone for updates, constantly.  She has family on the coast and was, understandably, concerned.  However, her concern was stressing her out… big time.

Her family had come to stay with her.  One might think this was why she was stressed.  Nope.  She was stressed because she was going to the land of “What If.”  She was most concerned that her family’s home would be destroyed and they would lose everything.

My parting comment was, “If your family has moved to a safe location and brought everything the determine to be of the utmost importance… the rest is just ‘stuff’.”  Yes, it will be awful if the house is destroyed, but it’s just a house.  They have brought what makes that house a home with them.  There’s really no need to stress about “stuff.”  She gave me a sheepish grin and we said our, “stay safes” as I headed home.

I admit, I have moved my family genealogy papers and pictures to a high, inner, closet.  Other than that, we are prepared.  If we had been advised to evacuate, we sure would have packed up and left.  We’re not going to put our lives at risk.  We have received no such notice.  We watch as Florence comes our way and we are prepared to hunker down.

If you have followed the advice of local authorities by leaving or preparing to ride the storm out, you are as ready as you’re going to be.  You can’t start asking yourself all those possible “what if” scenarios.  It’ll will cause you all sorts of unnecessary stress.  Stress is not good for your physical, or mental/emotional health.  No need to borrow trouble. 

You are ready to weather the storm.  Be wise, stay safe, and try not to worry.

*Pam Horton is a certified Stress Management Coach in the Raleigh area.