I love to read

 While volunteering at the USO yesterday, I was tasked with restocking the bookcases that had been emptied to be moved.  I thoroughly enjoyed reading the title of each book as I set them up on the shelves.  I have read some of them, and found a couple that sounded so interesting I brought them home to read.  I love to read!

 My parents read to me as a child.  Having a story was part of my bedtime routine.  Consequently, we read bedtime stories to our boys.  Interestingly enough, while our boys remain avid readers, they never picked up the bedtime story routine with their children.

 I believe that children who are read to become readers, not just for school work, but for pleasure.

 My dad and my husband, Jim, can sit and read for hours!  I’m not quite that much of a reader.  I tend to read my learning books during the day and my pleasure books at bedtime.  In fact, if I don’t read before sleeping, I have a hard time going to sleep.

 Reading has MANY benefits.  Reading helps you

·         learn things

·         improve concentration

·         fall asleep

·         strengthen your imagination

·         reduce stress

·         improve memory

·         write better

 Speaking of writing, I not only love to read, but I love to write.  I have also discovered I enjoy doing research.  I am considering writing a book about some abandoned buildings in the area.  You KNOW there has to be a story there!

 So, how about you?  Do you love to read?  Do you write?  If so, we are kindred spirits. Grin. 

 Statistics say 33% of U.S. HS graduates will not read a book after they get out of school.  If that is you, have I convinced you about the value and fun of reading? 

 There are too many different types of books to even list here. It’s probably easiest to break it into the two main types… Fiction or Non-Fiction.  If you are new to the idea of reading… start with a fun fiction book.  Something that interests you, a real page turner.  I love historical fiction, but there lots of fiction options.

·         Mystery

·         Romance

·         Sci-fi

·         Fantasy

·         Suspense

·         Western

·         Christian

·         And more

With all the options, I’m certain you can find a book that would entertain you and keep your interest. 

 Consider all the benefits of reading and then… go ahead.  Pick up a book and get started.

*Pam Horton is an award winning author and speaker.  You can see her books on Amazon.com.  She has a YouTube Channel, Miss Pam Reads, where she reads children’s books for free.

April is my passion month

It seems like every month highlights at least a dozen different causes.

I have four things I am passionate about.
• Military Families
• Autism Early Education
• Hurting Teens/Twenty-somethings
• Encouraging others

The month of April has (among others)…

·         Autism Awareness

·         Gold Star Spouses Day

·         Month of the Military Child

·         Child Abuse Prevention

The month of April also has National Tartan Day, on the 6th, for those of us with Scottish ancestry. Just sayin’.

Of course, June is PTSD Awareness and November is Military Family Appreciation month, but April holds most of my passions in the same month, so you will probably see lots of things on my social media pages this month about Autism and Military brats (once a brat always a brat – HOOAH!). Although, that’s probably not any different than any other month, right?

Besides being active in the Autism community and the Military community, I have written some books that help increase awareness about autism and give hope to those who feel stuck in their current situations.

I believe it is good to support a cause you are passionate about. It helps us get out of our own little world to help and encourage others.

How about you? What causes do you support? What are you passionate about?

*Pam Horton is the coordinator of the Military Family Ministry at Hope Community Church in Raleigh.*

If you happen to be interested in learning more about some of the books I’ve written…

The Decision to Change is a light and easy read.  It is designed to encourage the reader that a person can, indeed, make a decision to change their current circumstances. 

Autism: Expressions of a non-verbalchild gives the reader a glimpse into the life of her non-verbal autistic grandson. Pam spent many years working with special needs students. That training has equipped her to knowledgably assist her family in getting the services her non-verbal autistic grandson needs.

Rory’s Story: Having an autistic brother was completely directed by six year old Rory Munt.. This is a sometimes funny, sometimes off-topic, and sometimes quite honest, personal look at what it’s like to be six and have a younger brother diagnosed with severe non-verbal autism.

Walk Confidently

 Do you ever “people watch?”  I do.  If I’m stuck waiting somewhere, it’s a great pastime.

A couple weeks ago, I arrived early to a meeting and was sitting in my car reading.  It must have been a shift change or something because there were lots of people exiting the building.  Not in mass, but every few minutes someone would exit the building or walk past my car.  Having great peripheral vision, every movement caught my eye.

As I glanced up to see various people walking, I began to notice the way they were walking. 
 I saw many people walking at a middle speed looking down at their feet.  Sure they looked up every now and then to make sure they weren’t going to get hit by a car in the parking lot, but most people were looking at the ground.

Then I saw this one guy, in a yellow shirt, exit the building walked very confidently.  He was walking at a brisk pace, but he didn’t seem to be in a hurry.  His head was up, he was looking around.  He even smiled and waved at a couple different people.  I would guess he knew them, but maybe not.  The way he walked got me to thinking, and watching others more intentionally.

Still, most of the people who exited the building were walking rather ho-hum, looking down.  I did see two women walk across the parking lot.  One walked pretty confidently, not quite as boldly as the man I saw, but she did pretty well.  The other one started out of the building looking at her phone.  Then she started to get a confident walk.  Then, she ruined it.   Yup, she got the ol’ “I’ve been practicing this” hip swing going.  I wasn’t impressed.

Anyway, I started thinking about what impression our walk gives others.  I would suggest that the man in the yellow shirt and the woman who walked boldly are probably self-aware, self-confident, positive people.   The other folks, shuffling out, eyes to the ground, looking like they carry the burdens of the world, were either having a bad day or aren’t particularly aware of the negative vibe they are giving off.

Have you ever thought about how others see you?  Are you carrying yourself as you truly are?  How is your walk these days?

If you walk like most of the people I saw, maybe it’s time to pick your head up and look life in the eye.  If you have a bad day every once in a while, that’s understandable, but if every day seems like a bad day maybe it’s time to talk to someone about how to get your positivity back.

The first step in change is awareness.  Check your walk, and then step out boldly, joyfully, and walk confidently!

Choosing Fear

This week we have had our two granddaughters visiting.  One is ten and the other is eight. 

 While they enjoy spending time together, they have very different interests.  One wants to do something while the other does not.  This has been leading to many opportunities for taking turns with decision making.  Of course, this usually leaves one girl happy and the other barely tolerant.  Then they switch roles, so they each get a turn at being unhappy with the other one’s decision.  Yes, it has been a challenge.

 One thing they absolutely loved was taking turns asking “Alexa” to play various songs.  Not my favorite music but, the girls were having a great time.

 At night we put a movie on and the girls drift off to sleep.  This was a major point of contention as the younger one was afraid of most of the movies the older one wanted to watch.  A couple of these were totally ridiculous movies to be afraid of (Mary Poppins and Enchanted).

 The older one wanted to watch Enchanted, but the younger one was afraid of the “scary lady” she saw on the DVD cover.  If you’ve ever seen Enchanted you know it’s more funny than scary.  The only scary part could be at the end when the evil queen turns into a (not so scary) dragon.

 I do need to say that the younger one has seen, and loves, Maleficent.  Now THAT could be scary.  So, we knew that Enchanted would not scare her, and yet… she refused to watch it because she thought it would be scary from looking at the cover.

 You know the old cliché “Don’t judge a book (or movie) by its cover.”  Classic case here.  Last night we told the younger girl that we were going to put on Enchanted.  She could choose to watch it or not.  She watched it.  And LOVED it!  This morning she even asked to watch it again.

 How many times do we choose not to do something because we are afraid?  It’s something we’ve never experienced before but we think it will be scary, so we avoid it.  How many opportunities have been missed because we’re choosing fear? 

 It’s possible, and this story is the evidence, that something we think will be scary is actually fun.  However, we will only experience the fun if we actually try it.  If you get part way through something and don’t like it – stop. 

 Okay, you can’t stop a thrill ride in the middle.  That one you’ll have to complete, then you can say, “Yeah, I didn’t like that, it was scary” and never do it again.  At least you know for sure and you aren’t choosing fear because you think it will be scary.

 Be like the old Life cereal commercial, “Try it. You’ll like it.”  You just might.

 *Side note – I’m not advocating you try anything illegal, immoral or unethical.

 *Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

A message of forgiveness and redemption

Many people are currently discussing the movie, I Can Only Imagine, based on the life of Bart Millard, which was the inspiration for the song by Mercy Me.  I would put forth that, while this is a story of an abusive husband/father, the true story is the message of forgiveness and redemption.

 Jim and I saw the movie this week, with our small group Bible study friends.  I had been told it was a real tear-jerker, which I avoid at all costs.  I was thankful that it did not cause me to shed tears.  Thankful because it was not a story I could relate to.  Thankful that I do not have a physically abusive father or husband.  And yet…

 I would venture to say that most of us have people in our lives that have had a less than positive impact on us.  People who we allowed to get into our heads and start to doubt ourselves.  It may have been a family member, a classmate, a co-worker, neighbor, or even someone from church.  People who allowed you to believe:

·         You aren’t good enough

·         You aren’t pretty enough

·         You have no talent

·         You have no value

·         You are worthless

·         You will never amount to anything

·         It’s your fault

·         “Loser”

Those things can get in your head and you start to believe them yourself.  Even when you think you’ve “shown them” and are doing well, it’s amazing how the negatives can come creeping back into your head at really inconvenient times.

 In the movie, Bart’s dad feels guilt about his abusiveness and asks for forgiveness, from God and from Bart.  Bart quickly claims God has forgiven him, but he can’t.  Holding on to that anger and hatred could cause the person not being forgiven to continue to feel sad and guilty; at the same time it holds the person who is still angry in its clutches as well.  Seems to me if you truly want to be free of the pain someone else caused you, you need to forgive them.  We’ve had this discussion before.  You can’t move forward positively until you come to terms with your past.

 Once you have forgiven the person who wronged you (not saying what they did was okay, but saying you are not going to let it eat you up anymore), then redemption comes into the mix.  The person may choose to try and make amends for the wrong they have done you.  You don’t have to let them back into your life, but you can if you choose to and it’s a healthy relationship at this point.

 The movie had a closing screen that showed a resource for those who have questions about faith, forgiveness, and God.  It also showed a helpline for those who are being, or have been, abused.  While I thought I Can Only Imagine was a great movie with a powerful message, I believe this information could be the most important for people to know about.  I am including it here, in case it may be of benefit to you or someone you know.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach.

Be ever vigilant

 Have you ever had one of those dreams when you feel like you are IN the dream (like it’s really happening), yet at the same time you feel as if you are a bystander watching it happen?  Dreams that seem real can cause you to sit up wide awake, reminding us to be ever vigilant   Depending on whether you consider it a good dream or a bad dream, you may want to go right back to sleep to try and continue the dream, or you may stay awake trying to forget it.

 I had one such dream the other morning.  I say morning because I woke up with it about 4am.  It was very vivid, I could see a dark, worn down house that had been fortified by a fence and a rock wall.  I’m not sure whose house it was, or who lived there.  It was near a street, although it was more of a path or dirt road than a paved busy street.

 I distinctly remember seeing a woman and little girl (assuming her daughter?) bicycling up the road on those older type bikes with baskets on the handle bars.  The woman’s basket had flowers in it.  I believe it must have been getting on to dusk as I reminded them to hurry along and get home safely.

 Once it was dark we (me and whoever else lived in the house) barricaded ourselves in and settled down for the night.

 In the dream, that scene replayed itself, with the woman and little girl kindly smiling as I reminded them to hurry home. Again, as darkness fell we barricaded ourselves in and settled down for the night.  Only, on this night the wolves came. 

                                                     

 The wolves growled and snarled as they tried to crash through the windows of the small house.  All the occupants were awake, huddled together in the middle of the main room, and scared.  Thankfully, the windows held and the wolves could not get in. Eventually, the wolves stopped attacking the house and left, but they left some big black and brown dogs (Rottweilers?) to prowl around the porch.  We could see them pass by the windows, periodically, as a reminder that we were still in danger.

 When the sun came up, the dogs ran off.  It took us a little while to gather up the courage to venture outside.  When we finally did, we saw the damage the wolves had done to our fortifications.  There was a spot in the fence that had been broken through, right next to a spot in the rock wall that had been knocked over into a pile of rubble.

 My first thought was, “We need to go check on the woman and the little girl, to make sure they are unharmed!”  And… that’s when I woke up.

 I wonder what the dream could mean? Could it be a simple reminder that we should remain ever vigilant, on guard, and prepared for bad things to happen?  If we are prepared, we can better ward them off, or deal with them as they come.  What of the lady up the street? Perhaps we need to remind others of the ever present danger of unpleasant possibilities, or just remember to love our neighbors.

 Does this mean we should live in fear?  No.  We need to live a boldly joyful life, with safeguards and reminders so that we are not caught unaware when the wolves try to get in to our lives.

 1 Peter 5:8  - Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.

*Pam is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach.

Behaving Badly

I have been working, quite a bit, with children who can behave badly at the drop of a hat.  Perhaps, at first glance, one might think they were in need of discipline, or perhaps they tend to be spoiled brats having tantrums.  Yes, I’ll admit… for some, the first impression might be accurate, but upon further interaction, you may see some of these children are hurt and/or angry… if you take the time to really see them.

I watched one child go into mischief mode, which eventually turned into flipping chairs and tables.  Once the child was calm (which took a bit of time and effort), I asked if we knew what had set them off.  The answer?  Another student needed to see the paper they were copying from and the teacher turned it about an inch diagonally.  That was it.  Strange, because I had witnessed this student willingly share numerous time.  It was not really the paper slant that set them off.

The paper slant was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  This child had a rough morning at home and was barely keeping their emotions under wraps.  The paper incident was one more frustration that put them over the top.  The hitting, kicking, and curse words were not even really directed at the people who happened to be on the receiving end.  The child was venting all of their frustration at whoever was in the immediate area.  Once they calmed down, they set about apologizing to people and cleaning up the mess that had been made.

Another child was having the same sort of rage incident at the end of the day, for a string of days.  After they were calmed down, they went into the fetal position and had to be carried out to the bus.  We later learned that there were some major struggles happening at home and this child didn’t want to go home to an environment that was totally out of their control.

Okay, yes, these children are behaving badly, but with good reason.  They don’t know how to express their frustration/hurt/anger in a socially acceptable manner (some don’t have verbal skills as yet).  Before you judge a teacher, parent, or child based on their bad behavior, try to consider what might actually be going on with the child.  It may help to remember that we all have good days and bad days and that no one is perfect.

*Pam Horton has been working with special education students for more than 15 years.