I have been working, quite a bit, with children who can
behave badly at the drop of a hat.
Perhaps, at first glance, one might think they were in need of
discipline, or perhaps they tend to be spoiled brats having tantrums. Yes, I’ll admit… for some, the first
impression might be accurate, but upon further interaction, you may see some of
these children are hurt and/or angry… if you take the time to really see them.
I watched one child go into mischief mode, which eventually turned into flipping chairs and tables. Once the child was calm (which took a bit of time and effort), I asked if we knew what had set them off. The answer? Another student needed to see the paper they were copying from and the teacher turned it about an inch diagonally. That was it. Strange, because I had witnessed this student willingly share numerous time. It was not really the paper slant that set them off.
The paper slant was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s
back. This child had a rough morning at
home and was barely keeping their emotions under wraps. The paper incident was one more frustration
that put them over the top. The hitting,
kicking, and curse words were not even really directed at the people who
happened to be on the receiving end. The
child was venting all of their frustration at whoever was in the immediate
area. Once they calmed down, they set
about apologizing to people and cleaning up the mess that had been made.
Another child was having the same sort of rage incident
at the end of the day, for a string of days.
After they were calmed down, they went into the fetal position and had
to be carried out to the bus. We later
learned that there were some major struggles happening at home and this child
didn’t want to go home to an environment that was totally out of their control.
Okay, yes, these children are behaving badly, but with
good reason. They don’t know how to
express their frustration/hurt/anger in a socially acceptable manner (some don’t
have verbal skills as yet). Before you
judge a teacher, parent, or child based on their bad behavior, try to consider
what might actually be going on with the child.
It may help to remember that we all have good days and bad days and that
no one is perfect.
*Pam Horton has been working with special education students for more than 15 years.
