Thankful for good brakes

We were recently at a local favorite ice cream shop in Newport, Vermont. 

 It is located on the main street of town, on the corner of a parking lot.  The seating for the customers in in a section of the parking lot.  To get to it, you have to cross the entrance area into the parking lot.

 It was a very busy night, the tables and benches were all full and children were everywhere.  All of a sudden a green car whipped around the corner, from the street into the parking lot and slammed on its brakes.  My mom and I happened to be facing the direction of the parking entrance and immediately took in the situation.

 There had been a grandfather, son, and young daughter over by the edge of the building.  While the two men were chatting, the little girl had wandered just a bit too far into the entranceway… and the car almost hit her.  I can tell you, we were all thankful for good brakes!

 When the car came to a sudden stop, the two men looked up and realized that the little girl had almost gotten hit.  They were shocked.  The father scooped up his daughter and the grandfather, waved and said “I’m sorry” to the driver. 

 As the car moved slowly into the parking lot, I could see the daddy explaining to his daughter about road safety and cars.  She was only three or so.  I’m not sure she quite grasped the concept of what had just happened.

 I was watching for the driver to head over to the ice cream shop.  I considered going over to thank him for his keen observation skills and quick reactions.  It was a few minutes before I saw him.  He and his girlfriend approached the men to ask if the little girl was okay.  Then he shook both of their hands and the pair went to the ice cream window.

 The driver was visibly shook up.  It must have been a very scary moment for him and probably took those few minutes to get himself together.  Can you imagine?  This story could have had a much different ending.

 It’s the height of summer.  Children sometimes are so wrapped up in being kids and enjoying themselves that they are not aware of the dangers around them.  It is up to the adults to ensure the safety of the children in our lives. 

·         Parents: keep a close eye on your children.  Help them stay safe.

·         Drivers: stay alert.  You never know when a child might step out in front on your car.

 We are all thankful that the driver of the green car was looking where he was going and that his car had good brakes.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Parenting Coach in the Raleigh area.*

In the out door

Do you ever try to exit a building, through the exit door, only to have to wait for people coming IN the out door to clear the doorway?  I actually watched someone walk past the entrance to go in the out door.  What is up with that?

 I’ll admit, I have been accused of being a “rule follower.”  Although, if you asked my parents about my teen/early twenties years they would tell you I was not a rule follower then.  Now, yes, I tend to follow the rules.  I certainly go in the entrance and out the exit doors.  If everyone used the proper doors in the proper flow there would be much less backup at doorways. 

 My question is… Why can’t people use the proper door?  Is it because

·         People are too busy to pay attention

On their phones

Deep in conversation

·         Some people just don’t care

About anyone other than themselves

How their actions might affect others

·         The rules don’t apply to everyone

Especially them

Entitlement?

 If it’s because people are too busy to pay attention, that could actually be dangerous.  If we aren’t paying attention to where we are walking we could trip, fall and get hurt.  People also might walk into something, or someone, or even in front of a car.  Please pay attention to your surroundings.

 If it’s because people don’t care, that’s not good either.  We should care about our actions, and be responsible for them.  We should care about other people and if they are doing okay.  We could use more caring people in the world these days.

 The idea that the rules don’t apply to everyone is just plain incorrect.  It may seem that way sometimes, but there are consequences (good or bad) for our actions.

 This may seem to be a blog about foot traffic patterns, but in reality, this behavior may be happening in other areas of your life too.  You see, it’s a mindset that makes it okay to go in the out door.

 If you happen to recognize yourself as someone who goes in the out door, or whatever door they want, maybe it’s time to reconsider your travel path.  Just sayin’.

*PamHorton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

Safety in numbers

Back when I was in my late teens/early twenties (many moons ago), I lived in a city and walked to and from work.  Depending on which job I was going to, it may have been in daylight or it may have been in the wee hours of the morning.  Most times it was just me, myself, and I walking to work alone.

The times they are a changin’!  There is no stinkin’ way I would walk anywhere alone these days, night or day.  The world has become a more dangerous place since I was a teenager.  I always advise people, young or old, to have a friend with them.  I mean, if the military insists on their folks having a “buddy” when they go places, civilians SURE oughta.

A while back, I was out in the yard and heard quite a ruckus overhead.  I witnessed a larger bird seemingly trying to get into a tree that had a nest in it.  I would guess the nest didn’t belong to the big bird, because two smaller birds were attempting to chase the big bird away.

This went on for a couple of minutes.  The smaller pair was successful at keeping the bigger bird away from the tree, but the big bird kept coming back and trying to get into the tree.  Eventually, another 4 (or so) smaller birds joined the fray and they were finally successful in chasing the bigger bird away.  He didn’t come back the entire time I was outside, that day anyway.

My first thought was, “Wow, will ya look at that!  The big bird was chased away by the smaller birds.  I have to blog about their being safety in numbers.”  It’s true, since I put out a weekly blog, I am always thinking of how something I saw, or did, can be put into a blog for the benefit of others.

There you have it, my beneficial insight for this week…

Remember, even if you are the smaller creature, you can conquer the giant in your life.  Get some trusted friends and go after it.  There is safety in numbers.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

The grass is always greener…

This is a picture (as taken) of my parent’s property, in Vermont.  Jim and I both remarked, “Look how green everything is!”

Then we discussed how much rain they have had this spring.  They’ve had so much rain, and cool temperatures, this past May/June that they seldom had the opportunity to mow the grass. To look at the picture though, it’s wonderful.

How often do we have a “the grass is greener over there” thought?  We all do it.  We compare what we have to what others have and find ourselves lacking.  What we seldom stop to think about is the work, hardship, or diligence that probably went into that person’s “greener grass.”

Yes, there are those lucky few who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths; everything seems to go their way.  Even those people have to work to maintain what they have.  How many rich and/or famous people have squandered their resources by poor judgement?  Lots.

The rest of us have to work to get what we need or want.  Many times the person with the greener grass has learned the value of hard work, or patience, or maybe the recovery from hard knocks that life can throw at you.

Let’s not be envious, jealous, or angry about our neighbors “greener grass.”  Let’s rejoice with them for the things that are going good with them.  If you would like to have “greener grass,” go ahead and ask them how they achieved the thing you would like to achieve as well.  Chances are they’d be happy to share their knowledge with you.

If you happen to be the person with the greener grass, share your knowledge when someone asks for assistance.  Even if all you did was do things inside for two months because it rained so much.  You endured with patience.  It could be the person you are talking to is going through their own storm right now and knowing they can endure it with patience and, eventually, the storm will pass and the sun will come out may be exactly what they need to hear. 

You just never know what people are going through when you talk with them.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

Pay Attention, People!

While walking out of a grocery store today, I paused at the crosswalk.  Why?  Because I saw a car coming.  But, pedestrians have the right of way.  On paper, but in reality… if I had walked across the crosswalk, that car would have hit me.  Pay Attention, People!  I’m so thankful I waited before crossing. 

This got me on a bit of a pet peeve rant.  Hold on, here we go…

Staying on the grocery store topic.  Why do people stop their cart (or buggy, depending on where you are from) in the middle of the aisle?  They become so engrossed in looking for what they want that they are unaware of their surroundings.  It could be they just don’t care that they are blocking the entire aisle and people are trying to get past them.  I sure hope not.  Pay Attention, People!

How about trying to get through a green light?  People are so involved in other things happening in their cars (cell phones, makeup, kids) that they don’t even notice that the light has turned green.  Green means go!  There are times when I sit through a light changing two or three times before I get through.  If drivers would go when the light turns green, I could have gotten through the first change. Pay Attention, People!

Apparently, these pet peeves are not mine alone.  I’ve spoken with a number of people who have expressed the same frustrations.

Here’s one you may not have heard of, it still comes under the category of “Pay Attention, People!”

Independence Day is coming up soon and people like to set fireworks off at home, on any given day on or around the 4^th of July.  That is great fun, for the people setting them off.  Not so much fun for the people who aren’t expecting fireworks to go shooting into the air over their house.

Last year we had someone shooting off fireworks at 10PM, after many in the neighborhood had gone to bed.  Another person I know told me about someone setting off fireworks, on July 2^nd.  Her husband, who is a combat veteran was not prepared to hear those types of noises two days before the 4^th and ended up sitting in a fetal position covering his ears and crying.  Know your neighbors.  If you have a neighbor with small children set your fireworks off earlier. If you have a combat veteran as a neighbor, let them know a little bit before you send those rockets into the air, so they can be mentally prepared for it or go to the mall to avoid the noise.  Be considerate.  Pay Attention, People!

*Pam Horton is the coordinator of Military Family Ministries at Hope Community Church.

Leaving The Nest

I witnessed the coolest thing this morning!  A baby house finch bird apparently had just flown from its nest and wasn’t quite sure what to do next.

I spotted it on our fence and decided to see if I could get some decent photos of it trying to fly.  I didn’t, because it didn’t.  I was actually afraid one of the hawks that like to hang out in the area might come down and swoop it up.  I did watch it for a while, though.

At one point “daddy” came near it and flew off again, only to return with food for the baby.  I did get some cool pictures of that.  Off daddy went, for quite a long time.  The baby seemed to be looking at its nest, or perhaps at its daddy, but daddy didn’t come back – Until…

The momma bluebird stuck her head out of the bluebird house.  As I was trying to get the camera lens focused on her, she flew out, directly toward the baby house finch.  Next thing I knew, Daddy house finch flew at the momma bluebird and chaos ensued.  It all happened so quickly that I couldn’t get my camera focused on anything.  And then it was over.

Somehow the baby finch had made it to the safety of our trellis and daddy had chased momma bluebird away.  The baby was left alone for a little bit, but then the daddy came to encourage it along.  The baby hopped along down the fence, following its daddy, out of my site.

How typical “human parent/child-like” was that scenario?  Think about our children, leaving home for the first time. 

Parents know their children need to make it on their own.  Hopefully, they have taught them life skills during the time they have lived at home.  Finally, the day comes and our baby needs to leave the “nest.”  I tell parents all the time, “Birds gotta fly.” 

Often, we let them try to succeed on their own.  We aren’t too far away though.  If we see they are struggling, we may stop over with some food for them.  If we seem them in imminent danger, we usually rush in to save them, make sure they are safe, and then let them try it again.

I’m not saying we need to be helicopter parents, hovering over their every move.  Just that it is nice for our adult children to know when push comes to shove, their parents have their back.  I think that’s okay.  Everybody needs a little encouragement, or a little help, every now and then. 

Love from a distance, assist when necessary.  It works.

*Pam Horton is a certified Parenting Coach in the Raleigh area.

Control your thoughts

I happened upon a video this morning about how your thoughts control your feelings.  I thought it made such a good point that I was going to be lazy and just post the video link in this week’s blog and get on with my day.  BUT after the very good point came a very strong sales pitch.  I don’t like a strong sales pitch.  So, I choose not to share the video with you.  I’ll recap it for you…

 As I have posted, many times, your thoughts effect your feelings and your actions, so try to keep your thoughts positive.  That’s today’s message in a nutshell, grin. 

 This particular video addressed having your feelings hurt, by others.  We all know people who are sensitive and get their feelings hurt easily.  However, their feelings are hurt because they allow their thought process to be negative. 

 For example…

If someone comments that you aren’t very strong, and you happen to be a very fit and fairly strong person, you think, “They have no idea what they are talking about.”

 On the flip side, if someone comments that you aren’t very strong, and you are out of shape and aren’t very strong, you might think, “They are right, I’m a weakling.”  You might even take it to extremes and think, “I’m fat, weak, ugly, my hair is a mess, my outfit doesn’t look good.  I’m worthless.”

It wasn’t their words that hurt your feelings, it was your thought process after the words were said.

 The trick is to change your thought process. 

 For example:

If someone comments that you aren’t very strong, and you are out of shape and aren’t very strong, you could think, “It doesn’t matter what they think, I like me just the way I am.”  OR “Yeah, I’ve been thinking I need to get in shape.  It’s time to buckle down and take my health seriously.”  If they happen to be a good friend or family member, you may even ask them to work out with you.

 Yes, people can be jerks and some people enjoy saying mean things to push other people’s buttons and watch them get upset.  You don’t have to let them have that control over your thought process.  Find a way to keep your thoughts positive and you will discover your feelings aren’t being hurt as much and you have a more positive outlook on life.

 (Okay, here come MY really strong sales pitch)…

*PamHorton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

Have a great weekend!