In person interactions

 A couple weeks ago, I realized… I have become very busy on my computer.  I post to three different Facebook pages, I have my blog, newsletter, and am taking a couple classes.  That says nothing of the personal Facebook checking I do.  I’m not loaded down with “friends”, but I have enough so that someone is always posting something that I need to read and/or respond to.  Come on, admit it – you know what I’m talkin’ about.

 So, I’ve thought,” OK, I’m fine with this.  I’m keeping myself pretty busy.”  HA!  For various reasons (friends being away on vacation, family members starting new jobs/school) I hadn’t really spoken with anyone – other than my husband - in about two weeks!  I played pickleball the other day  and I was downright GIDDY.  Can’t you just see me, giggling and jumping for joy?  Yes, I was glad to be playing pickleball – it had been about two weeks since we had played, but I was ecstatic to be conversing with someone in person!  

 I can be witty on Facebook (at least I try – grin) and ya’ll respond accordingly with an “lol” or a “HOOAH!”   But there is nothing like the feedback of face to face conversation!!  I honestly didn’t realize this until that day.  Wow.  To see other people’s facial expressions when you engage in conversation, to hear their tone of voice, to hear a good hearty belly laugh, it is just so much more fulfilling in person! 

 If you are busy, but you are often alone – phone a friend and make plans to meet somewhere.  Get out and do something, join a club, volunteer somewhere.  Maybe you already do these things but the work involved keeps you busy at home.  Put the mouse down.  Stand up and back away slowly from the computer. Turn around and keep walking.  Yes, you.  Get out of the house and find some people to interact with.  You’ll be surprised how much you’ve missed it.  Enjoy!

10 tips for stress free school mornings

Everybody's busy this time of year, so I'll keep this one short and sweet...

It’s almost time for the kids to go back to school.  Indeed, some schools have already started.  As everyone adjusts back into the school routine, I thought I’d share some quick tips to make the mornings go a little more smoothly…

1. Have a routine.  Most kids thrive when they know what to expect and what is expected of them.

2. Get organized.  It’s much easier to find things if they have a spot.  Put them there, find them there.

3. Check the weather forecast and pick out clothes before going to bed.

4. Pack backpack before going to bed.  Save room to add the lunchbox in the morning.

5. Plan meals ahead of time. Make a weekly menu so you’re not asking “What do you want for breakfast, or lunch, today?”

6. Complete homework the day it is given. Trying to do homework in the morning can be chaotic.

7. Get plenty of rest.  The proper amount of sleep helps reduce stress.

8. Try to keep morning conversation pleasant.  The morning sets the tone for the whole day.

9. Be patient, be flexible, be available.

10.  Tell your kids you love them, every day, as you say goodbye.  They may know it, but it’s important that they hear it.

Side note:  This actually posted in our monthly eZine, but I think the blog and the eZine have different audiences.  Typically they have different information.  So, if you'd like to sign up for the NewDirection Life Coaching monthly eZine, simply click the link and look in the right side column of the webpage.  It's there!

Have a wonderful weekend!

*Pam Horton is a certified Stress Management Coach and Parenting Coach.*

Night time conversations

Jim and I were having a conversation, shortly before bed time, about him thinking I have too many things on my plate.

 I found it very interesting to wake up the next morning after having this dream…

Having left some place to head to the USO, and passing barns with hanging beef, I realized I must have turned the wrong way, as that is not a scene I typically see.  I stopped to ask which direction Raleigh was and was informed I was headed to Jacksonville, Raleigh was the opposite direction.

I’m trying to call the USO, to tell them I’ll be late.  After reaching the Center and being disconnected, the next three calls were wrong numbers. The next thing I know, I’m walking through a large mansion looking for anyone I could ask for assistance.  I start to get frustrated because I can’t even find my way out of the house, when I come across a woman, on her knees.  She say to me, “Isn’t it great?  We can go anywhere we want to!”  I had no clue what she was talking about and continued looking for an exit.

                Once outside, I find a group of people who are also lost, but they have a leader helping them get back to somewhere.  I go across a field to join them when I am attacked by jackals and three other animals. They are not hurting me, just jumping at me.  The group stands there and watches.

                I finally make it to the protective dirt pile, where the group is, and see that the leader has a gun filled with the dirt.  As we all proceed cautiously, she keeps shooting the protective dirt around us to keep us safe.

                And then… the alarm goes off!

 I don’t dream very often, so when I do I write them down and ponder what it could have meant.  The only thing I could come up with was the conversation Jim and I had, and the novel I was reading about Russia.  Very strange combination, for sure.

 I can say that it might be wise not to have any weighty conversations shortly before bed.  Have them earlier in the day so your mind has time to process it before you try to have a peaceful night’s sleep.

*Pam Horton is a stress management coach in the Raleigh area.

Preserving Family History

 While volunteering at the USO yesterday, I was chatting with a fellow who was sharing some stories of his antics as a teenager.  This was back in the 40’s and 50’s.  There were some very cool stories!

 I asked him if he had written any of this down somewhere and he responded that he had told his kids the stories.  If his kids are anything like me, they might very possibly forget those old stories that their dad told them.  I suggested he record the stories in some fashion.

 The reality is, as older generations pass on, many of the stories of days gone by go with them.  Being a big history buff, I am all about remembering the past.  Of course, being a life coach I totally believe you can’t live in the past, you must move positively forward.  However, remember this quote, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” (George Santayana)

 I happen to think those old stories are cool.  We had my father-in-law dictate into a “voice-to-text” program many of the stories of his childhood.  My grandmother recorded, in a cassette tape, stories of her youth.  My mother is working on typing up some of her memories.  I’m not sure if my dad has done it yet, but he’s got some great stories about growing up on a farm, and about being in the Army.

 If you haven’t managed to find a way to preserve the family stories of your past, it might be a good time to consider it.

There are numerous ways you can record things…

Write them down with pen and paper
Type them
Audio record
Video record
Dictate to text
Dictate to a person who types or writes
Write a book

 There are all kinds of options for getting those old family stories ready to pass down to the younger generations.  If you don’t do it, how will they know the truth of our history?

 Yes, that’s a whole different topic, but when people start saying they don’t believe the things that are recorded in history, we have a problem (in my opinion).  If each family has documented history of the past, you would (mostly likely) believe your family.  Remember “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

 It’s easy… and fun… go get some memories and make them forever!

Privacy Policies

Have you ever read the privacy policy of a website you open up?  They are quite extensive and use lots of legal jargon.

I’ll admit, I often scan for the essentials.

 What about when sites ask you to sign in using a social media platform?  Some of those sites put up BIG red flags for me!

I was recently in an airport trying to get onto their free WIFI.  They offered 4 ways to sign in, a form and three social media sites.  I first chose the form, which wanted way too much info for a public WiFi.  Closed that option and went for LinkedIn.  They wanted access to all my contacts.  NOPE, you can’t have that.  SO, I opted not to access the internet at this particular airport. 

 Would you say “NO”, if a site wants to access your contact list and other things (like photos, location, etc.)?  I hope so!

 Unfortunately, too many people are thinking about getting access to whatever they are trying to see, and not really paying attention to what the site is able to see.

 I have friends who share those Facebook quizzes and tests.  Sometimes I’ll click on them.  If it doesn’t ask me to log in with Facebook, I may check it out.  But… the ones that ask you to get to their site through a social media site, then tell you it will have access to your contact list and other things, I don’t do those.  I respect the privacy of my family and friends too much to let a site they didn’t even go to have their information.

 The reality is if I’m seeing it from a friend, and I have to share my info to get to it, they had to share their info to get to it.  Which means my information has been shared, by my friend, without my consent. I don’t particularly care for that.  Of course, I can “unfriend” those people, but the damage has already been done.  No point.  Annoying.

 Please read the privacy policies, or at least the list of what they will have access to, before you agree to sign on to a webpage.  It’s just common courtesy to help guard your friend’s contact info.

Where has your tail been?

Cat tails tell tales.  Puppy tails, too. Could it be that your tale tells about you?

 The other day, our cat, Cora Vette (“Cora” for short) sauntered into the living room with dried grass all over her tail. Only on her tail, nowhere else on her body. I asked her, “Where has your tail been?”  Of course, she didn’t answer me.  She just waved her tail back and forth, meowed and moved on.  As she passed by me I noticed all the dried grass was off her tail.

 I got to thinking about shaking things off.  Oops, just went into a dance break of Taylor Swift’s “Shake it off.”  Guess that’s what happens when you think in song lyrics.

 ANYWAY, Cats, dogs, foxes, rabbits, basically any animal with a tail goes through their day and occasionally the places they’ve been during that day are obvious on their tails.  At the end of the day they wave, shake, or clean their tail and the evidence of where they have been and what has happened to them disappears.  They start the next day clean and ready to go forth and conquer their world.

 While humans don’t have a tail that gets stuff all over it, we certainly all have tales that have stuff all over them. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could simply clean our tale, go to bed and wake up the next day ready to conquer our world?

 We can.  Okay, we can’t get rid of our tale (only a few animals lose their tail and grow a new one) but we can acknowledge that part of our tale is behind us and decide to move positively forward, forging a new tale.

To some this may sound easy, to others it may sound impossible.  I’m here to tell you… your past is your past.  You can’t change it, but you don’t have to keep reliving it, or be defined by it. You have the ability to make a new future for yourself.  It make take courage, it may be a challenge, you may need some assistance, but it can be done.

 No matter where your tale has been, tomorrow is another day.  Go get ‘em, tiger

*On a side note (and possibly the reason I am thinking so much about animals lately)…

I have written a Children’s book called “Silly Cora!” Cora is our cat. Silly Cora! is a book about our cat. We choose Cora during the 2017 Clear The Shelter event. She does some of the silliest things and makes us laugh often (except when she is waking us up early on the weekends - yawn).

 I thought it would be a neat idea to write a story about our adventures with our shelter cat. I have incorporated the assistance of, college student, Monica to do the illustrations.

 The book is already creating a buzz among animal lovers. The book will release July 18 2018, a month before the National Clear The Shelter event in August.

 Our hope is that the book will help promote the event. Pam and Monica believe in choosing shelter/rescue pets so much that they will be donating 1/3 of the profits to local shelters.

 Be sure to follow the FaceBook page for updates on the book and antics of Silly Cora!

https://www.facebook.com/SillyCoraVette/

Quiet the noise

Have you ever wished you were in a cartoon, and when all the noise got to be too much you could scream “QUIET!” and silence would prevail?

 Jim & I were reading in bed on a recent warm summer night, with the windows open.  He must have thought I was nuts when I turned and asked him that question.  He didn’t notice the refrigerator running, the crickets chirping, or the frogs croaking.  I wondered why he didn’t seem to notice it and for me, it was just too much noise.

 I think, perhaps I noticed it, just slightly at first, but then I started to concentrate on the noise, instead of my book, Russka.  Sort of like when you have an ache of some sort and you start concentrating on the ache, it seems to hurt more.  I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, I can stomp on your foot and then your (whatever) won’t hurt anymore, right?  Same thing.  We tend to be more aware of the things we concentrate on.

 So, how do we quiet the noise, or ease the pain?  One simple thing would be to quit thinking about it so much.

 After I got up to investigate the constant annoying noise, that turned out to be the refrigerator, I was able to get my mind back into my book.  Soon, the frogs and crickets seemed to disappear while Peter the Great died and Catherine the Great took over ruling Russia.

 What annoying, or painful, things are you concentrating on these days?  Could a simple shift in your concentration be a help?

Here are some ideas to get your mind off your woes…

·         Read a book

·         Listen to music

·         Play a game with someone

·         Call a friend

·         Do a puzzle

·         Take a hike and have a picnic

·         Go on an exciting adventure

·         Dance like no one is watching

·         Give it up to God

·         Insert your favorite distraction – grin

 Sometimes, of course, the things we are concentrating on need to be addressed.  Do not ignore the big stuff, but don’t sweat the small stuff.  Find a fun, relaxing way to change your mind set.

*Pam Horton is a Certified Stress Management Coach.*