When you open up

While volunteering at church, recently, I was almost brought to tears by a young man who shared just a brief snippet of his story.  He hadn’t been to church in about 19 years and was compelled to attend that day.  He was so excited about what he had heard that he was suddenly “all in.”  He wanted information about all the things going on in the church and said he would be back the next weekend, and bring a friend.  I love it when a prodigal returns.

I watched a movie the other night, don’t even recall the name of it (it wasn’t that great) that touched on the topic of opening up.  The supposed theory was that when you open up, you see the energy and beauty that has been all around you, you just never noticed it before. 

I do believe that when you “let go” you are open to receive.  As an example, if you have a closed hand, or an angry fist, you can’t shake the hand of someone new you meet.  Or, how about water?  Try to hold life giving water with a closed hand.  It is only with an open hand (fingers close together) can we even begin to hold water.  No one can give you something (good or bad) if your hands are closed.

Our minds are the same way.  If you are not open to learning new things, nothing will ever change to you.

Unfortunately, it is the same with our emotions.  I say “unfortunately” because like many of you, I don’t like to show unpleasant emotion.  I try not to get angry, anxious, or tearful.  I am not a cute crier and crying gives me a headache, so I avoid it as much as possible.

And yet… when I allowed that young man’s story to touch my heart, I was overcome with joy.

Sure, when you open up your run the risk of being hurt.  Many of us have experienced deep emotional hurt and, well… it hurts.  So, of course, we try to avoid it.  And yet… much like the closed fist example, if we close off our emotions we are not able to experience the energy and beauty that exists around us.

If you have had the door closed on your emotions, I suggest you turn the knob and allow the door to open, just a crack.  No one would expect you to swing that door wide open after having it closed for so long.  Just a crack, let yourself have a peek at the joy you could be experiencing.  Open it a little more each week, until you are comfortable leaving it open.  When you experience a setback, resist the urge to slam the door closed.  Absolutely, close it some, but always leave it cracked and able to be easily reopened.

Remember, it is only when you open up that you can truly experience the joy that comes from seeing the energy and beauty around you.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

It’s all in the perspective

What do you see when you look at this picture. 

A student handed this to me and asked me to cut it out for him.  Shortly after, another student asked if he could have a mustache, too. I was surprised at the question.  I had actually thought this was angel’s wings.  Interesting.

When I asked another adult in the room what she saw, she said “The Lorax’s mustache.”  Oh.  I chuckled and told her I thought it was angel’s wings.  She said. “It’s all in the perspective and that is a positive perspective.  I love that about you.”

I found the entire conversation rather interesting, and realized she was right.  What you see in the above picture is a matter of perspective.  I asked another adult what they saw and they said, “A hay pile.”  Okay.  Maybe they work with animals or live on a farm.  Perspective.

It’s rather like the question, “Is the glass half full or half empty?”  Some might even say it’s completely full, because air is filling the parts that water isn’t. Perspective.

Have you heard the story about the brothers Christmas gifts?  One received and entire room full of gifts yet was not happy with anything he had gotten.  The other brother was escorted into a room full of manure and excitedly started shoveling.  “There must be a pony in here somewhere!”  Perspective.

Which person are you in each of these stories?  Are you the one looking at the positive side of things, or at least trying to, or are you the one who mostly sees the negative in things?

Studies show that positive people tend to be happier people, with less stress.  Why is that?  My guess would be hope.

When someone sees mostly the negative, they have little hope that things will improve.  Life is just a bummer, something to get through.  They expect that every day is going to be filled with negativity.

When someone choses to focus on the positive aspect of life, they tend to look for the joy in everything.  For example, our washing machine recently broke midway through laundry day.  We are thankful that we had already washed our socks and underwear! 

Often, we can see a different perspective once it has been pointed out to us.  Seeing the positive aspect first can take a little practice, but it can be done.  Try it.  You’ll be surprised what a difference it can make in your life.

Go ahead, look at the picture again.  You see angel wings, don’t you?  Grin.

*Pam Horton is a certified Stress Management coach in the Raleigh area.*

Why is Friday Good?

Today is “Good Friday.”  The day that Jesus was crucified.  This is a fact.  You can look up the historical documentation.

For those who consider themselves to be of the Christian Faith, it is the day Jesus Christ willingly went to his death after being betrayed, denied, flogged, beaten, and carrying his own cross up to the place of his crucifixion.  And we call this “good”?!

I struggled with this concept, in the past.  How could something so horrible be considered “good?”  Perhaps you have wondered the same thing.

In my studying and fellowship with other Christians, I have increased my understanding of the events that happened so long ago.  Biblical, as well as historical, accounts describe the vicious events quite vividly.  However, the prophets of the Bible make mention of this event thousands of years before it takes place.  It was foretold.  All of it.  The birth, death, and resurrection were documented and expected.

We used to sing a song about being washed in the blood of the Lamb, and I remember thinking how disgusting that must be.  However, by His stripes we are healed, His blood makes us white as snow.  Confusing contradictions?  Sounds like it. 

Yet, way back in the Old Testament, God required a sacrifice of an unblemished animal, often a Lamb, to atone for the sins of His people.  Ultimately, Jesus Christ was that sacrifice for all mankind.  The blood of an unblemished (perfect) animal (Jesus) was shed so that we (you and I) would have our sins washed away (by His blood) and be cleansed of our sins.

That brings us back to “Why is Friday Good?”  It still sounds horrible, and we grieve for the pain Jesus endured.  Yes, He suffered.  He suffered immensely as all the sins of the world were placed on His shoulders and He felt that burden, but He took it all willingly, because of his love for us (all of us).  It is “good” because through the death (and later resurrection) of Jesus Christ, we have the opportunity to spend eternity in heaven.

It is “good” because it is now Friday, but we know Sunday is coming.  Resurrection Sunday (Easter) is the day that Jesus Christ defeated sin and death and rose again.  This is the ultimate “good news” but the process begins on Good Friday.

I wish you many blessings this Easter weekend.  On this Good Friday, I look ahead to Easter Sunday when we can say “He is risen!”

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

April is always my passion month.

It seems like every month highlights at least a dozen different causes.

I have four things I am passionate about.
• Military Families
• Autism Early Education
• Hurting Teens/Twenty-somethings
• Encouraging others

The month of April has (among others)…
• Autism Awareness
• Month of the Military Child
• Child Abuse Prevention

The month of April also has National Tartan Day, on the 6th, for those of us with Scottish ancestry. Just sayin’.

Of course, June is PTSD Awareness and November is Military Family Appreciation month, but April holds most of my passions in the same month, so you will probably see lots of things on my social media pages this month about Autism and Military brats (once a brat always a brat – HOOAH!). Although, that’s probably not any different than any other month, right?

Besides being active in the Autism community and the Military community, I have written some books that help increase awareness about autism and give hope to those who feel stuck in their current situations.

I believe it is good to support a cause you are passionate about. It helps us get out of our own little world to help and encourage others.

How about you? What causes do you support? What are you passionate about?

*Pam Horton is the coordinator of the Military Family Ministry at Hope Community Church in Raleigh.*

If you happen to be interested in learning more about the books I’ve written…

The Decision to Change is a light and easy read.  It is designed to encourage the reader that a person can, indeed, make a decision to change their current circumstances. 

Autism: Expressions of a non-verbalchild gives the reader a glimpse into the life of her non-verbal autistic grandson. Pam spent many years working with special needs students. That training has equipped her to knowledgably assist her family in getting the services her non-verbal autistic grandson needs.

Rory’s Story: Having an autisticbrother was completely directed by six year old Rory Munt.. This is a sometimes funny, sometimes off-topic, and sometimes quite honest, personal look at what it’s like to be six and have a younger brother diagnosed with severe non-verbal autism.

Being new to this particular blog site, I find it interesting that a picture I posted with last week's blog showed up as the picture to this week's blog.  Am uploading a different picture here to see if it changes the picture that shows up with the blog link.  Just testing...

An Encounter with Jesus

Not my typical blog topic, but feel compelled to share, as it might encourage someone who could use a little encouragement.

3:19AM Wednesday March 29th 2017

I am wide awake, and a little freaked out because my mind is doing the earthly human thing of trying to analyze having just had an encounter with Jesus.  I need to get this on paper before I forget…

I can’t recall how the dream began.  I think, for some reason I was watching something on TV about Jesus (which is truly how my first encounter with Christ began, the first time I realized it was not about religion, but about a personal relationship).  Anyway, I remember floating up into the sky, on my back. The sky was a very vivid blue, it was one of those beautiful skies with warm sunshine and fluffy white clouds floating by. My right arm was stretched out over my head as I was reaching to touch the robe of Christ.  The feeling of Peace was overwhelming and so relaxing.  I said, to Jesus, “I want to be where you are.”

And poof, I was back in the living room, with the TV on. My sister-in-law was sitting in a chair and I recounted the story to her.  I told her, the dream and when I told her that “I said, to Jesus, ‘I want to be where you are’” It was like I had a jolt of realization run through me. 

“Laurie,” I said “He put me back on earth.  That means Jesus is here!”  We were both shocked at the realization.  I said, “He walks among us.”  That got me really freaked out and I knew I had to remember this encounter and tell others about it.  I paced the living room trying to figure out what to do next.  The noise from the movie about Jesus was adding to the chaos in my mind and I remember thinking that it was too much noise, fake noise about Jesus, but not actual Jesus.  So I walked over and turned the TV off.

Laurie and I started wondering if Jesus being on earth meant His second coming had happened.  We decided that couldn’t be the case, because we were both still sitting in the living room.  We determined that it must mean that Jesus is with us always, like He told us He would be in Matthew 28:20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Then I woke up, senses fully alive, and started trying to make sense of my dream.

Did this all just really happen? I get weirded out when I have a God thing.  It’s just such a “different” feeling.  I looked around the room, afraid that I might actually see Jesus.  Why am I afraid? I don’t really know.  You wouldn’t think I would be afraid, after having just experienced such Peace in His presence, but it kinda freaked me out, and my human brain went into overtime.

I looked at the clock and noticed it was 3:19AM. Having read somewhere that evil spirits walk the earth at 3AM, I was even more freaked out.  Had Jesus been with me to protect me from evil?  I had prayed the Lord ’s Prayer before falling asleep, literally asking Him to protect “us” from evil.  I was awake, I listened carefully to be sure Jim was still breathing.  Thankfully, he is.

I lay in bed for a couple of minutes, trying to make sense of the dream, not wanting to forget the feeling of Peace I had experienced, not wanting to forget the dream.  I tentatively got out of bed, not knowing what I might see.  Hoping not to see anything I went into the bathroom.  After using the facilities, I determined I should get this out of my head and on to paper.

It’s now 3:57AM. And I’m still analyzing my dream.  What is its purpose?  What is God trying to tell me?  Have you ever made something seem more difficult than it probably is?  I think I may be doing that now.  I believe I truly had an encounter with Jesus and the message from it is so obvious that it’s simple.  Jesus is here, on earth, and I am to remind people of that.

I’m still wide awake, but think I may be able to go back to sleep having captured the details of my dream, my encounter with Jesus, on paper, so I remember it as best I can and am able to share it with others.  I’ll have to read a little first to get my mind off the dream.  I’m thankful I do not have to get up early for work today.  May God’s blessings rain down on us all.    Signing off, 4:15AM.

See Things Differently

Hello All!
This is my first blog with a dedicated blog link. 

Don't let that statement fool you.  I have been writing blogs for the past seven years.  It's just that I always post them to our website (www.newdirectionlifecoaching.com).  I'm not going to take the time to repost them all here.  I'll just say, "If you like what you read here, there are lots more on our website. Check it out!"

I post a new blog every week and share it to my social media sites on Fridays, so be on the lookout for them.

Without further ado, let's get this week's blog under way...
April is right around the corner.  Many of you know that April is Autism Awareness Month and that April 2^nd is Autism Awareness Day.  Some of you know we have a non-verbal grandson on the spectrum and that I often substitute in autism classrooms.

Last month I had the pleasure of observing children with autism experience new things and it reminded me that we need to take the time to try and figure out how they are learning, so we cannot only teach them, but enter into their world with them. 

We were outside and this one non-verbal child was running down a sidewalk.  He started in the sun, but came into a section of the walk that was shaded and stopped.  He stood for a minute or so and turned to run back up the sidewalk, into the sun, at the exact spot he had started before and run into the shade again… and stop.  This process was repeated numerous times and I was left to wonder, “What is he thinking?”  Was this child noticing the changes in light, or maybe the changes in temperature?  Perhaps he was noticing that his shadow had disappeared.

Another non-verbal child was very thoroughly examining a budding bush.  He looked at it from a foot or so away.  Then he inched closer and still closer until he actually got poked in the eye from being so close.  Then he walked completely around it, sometime on tiptoe and sometimes squatting down.  Again, I was left to wonder, “What is he thinking?”  Was this child noticing the difference between the feel of the stems and the leaves?  Perhaps he was smelling the just budding blooms.

Once inside I sat with a non-verbal child who was joyfully rustling a rough paper towel, up and down, fast and slow, sometimes tearing it.  Yet again, I was left to wonder, “What is she thinking?”  Was this child noticing the difference in the sounds of fast, slow, and tearing?  Perhaps she was feeling the breeze the waving paper towel produced, or maybe she was enjoying watching it flutter about.

I may never know what these children were thinking about, but it broadened my senses and thought process just by watching them examine something so joyfully.

Every day offers us new experiences.  If you haven’t noticed something new, you aren’t paying close enough attention.  Take a moment to see things differently and you’ll discover something you had not considered before.  Try it, you’ll see.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*