It’s just a game!

Can we talk about recreational sports for a minute?  You do know, if you’re not a pro… it’s just a game!  Right?

 In the past week, I have had some free time and been playing quite a bit of Pickleball.  I understand, when you are participating in rec sports you are going to get all different levels of play. 

 I have no problem playing with beginners, intermediate (my level), advanced, or even pro players.  In fact, I enjoy playing with people with a little higher skill levels, it challenges me to be better.   I’m happy to play with beginners, as well.  I was a beginner once.  We need to include them in higher levels of play to challenge them too.

 The issue I have had recently is that some people take rec sports too seriously.  

 The other night I was playing with a guy I had never met.  We were getting beat by two guys I have played with before.  They are better than I am, but I’ve beat them before.  It’s not impossible.  All four players were making their share of good shots and poor shots.  When I miss-hit a ball, or hit it into the net, I usually chuckle.  I mean whattaya gonna do?  Get mad about it?  Nah.  My partner turns to me and says, “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, but I’d like to beat these guys.”  I thought that was pretty bold to say to a total stranger.  Yeah, we lost and he wasn’t happy.  Seriously?  It’s just a game!

 Another day, I was playing with 2 people I knew, and one I didn’t.  Well, this guy was a “slammer.”  Every time he hit the ball it was as hard and fast as he could make it, right at one of his opponents.  After he did that at me a few times, I was able to get back a few short angle shots that he couldn’t get to. (Slam them at ME will ya?!)  So then he started slamming them at my partner.  She turned away every time and just tried to get out of the way.  Yeah, we lost and he was very proud of himself.  Seriously?  It’s just a game!

 Kids rec sports?  Oh, don’t even get me started about how obnoxious some parents can be over KIDS games.

 Competitive nature?  Sure I like to win, but I’m not a rude, overly zealous player.  It’s not really fun to play with people who take themselves, or the game, too seriously.  I suppose they may consider me rude when I remind them, “We’re not getting paid the big bucks.  It’s just a game.”

 If these players sound like you, it’s time to relax and remember… it’s recreational sports, it’s supposed to be fun.  

Play to win, but more importantly… enjoy yourself.  It’s just a game.

Flag Day

Did you know yesterday was Flag Day?  It’s on June 14^th, every year.  Has been since 1916.

 Some of you may know this, but for those who don’t…

 Our flag was fashioned to represent the union of the various states into one country.  The first US Flag was officially commissioned on June 14, 1777.  It started with the original 13 colonies.  As each new state was added to the country, a star was added to the flag.  It now has 50 stars, but keeps its original 13 stripes.

 The Star Spangled Banner was written by Francis Scott Key on September 13, 1814. It was inspired by the British bombing of Ft. McHenry during the War of 1812. It became our National Anthem by a congressional resolution on March 3, 1931.

The Pledge received official recognition by Congress until June 22, 1942, when the Pledge was formally included in the U.S. Flag Code. The official name of The Pledge of Allegiance was adopted in 1945. The last change in language came on Flag Day 1954, when Congress passed a law, which added the words "under God" after "one nation."

 The U.S. Flag Code is actually a legal document, and is quite extensive.  

I believe we, as citizens (and non-citizens), have lessened the laws of respecting our flag.  It used to be if you stepped on or burned the flag in protest, it was jail time. However, in the 1990 court case, United States v. Eichman, the Supreme Court in a 5-4 decision struck down a congressional act that prohibited flag burning, citing the First Amendment’s protection of speech.

 For the purposes of this blog, Flag Day, there is an official way to “retire” a worn/ tattered US Flag. Burning is the preferred method in the U.S. Flag Code (Section 176), “A national flag that is worn beyond repair may be burned in a fire. The ceremony should be conducted with dignity and respect and the flag burned completely to ashes.” 

 Many people do know that you aren’t supposed to just throw your old US Flag out with the trash, but they are unsure what to actually do with it.  Or… they know it has to be “properly retired” but don’t know where to take it.  Consequently, lots of folks have old flags in their closet or garage.

 If you live in the Raleigh, NC area, you can take your flag to Hope Community Church’s Raleigh or Apex campus.  Mark it MFM (MilitaryFamily Ministry) and when they get a dozen or so, they turn them over to a scout troop for proper retirement.   You can also turn them in to a local

·         Scout troop

·         VFW

·         American Legion

 I know Flag Day has passed for this year, but you don’t have to wait for Flag Day to replace your worn/tattered US Flag.  You can do it anytime.  Just get it to the proper group, they’ll be happy to take it from you.

Summer heat can be deadly

I’m sure you all know that summer heat can be deadly, but with recent reports of dog and child deaths I feel the need to bring it to the forefront of people’s minds.

 On any given summer day you can read a news report or Facebook post about a pet or child being left in a car “for a minute” and then tragedy strikes.

 I didn’t find an exact number stat on pets dying in hot cars, but articles ranged from “hundreds” to “thousands” annually.  It’s a lot.

 Research shows more than 36 children die in overheated cars every year in the United States.

 Here are some facts from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

1. It takes 10 minutes for the temperature in a car to go up 20 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Cracking a window open and parking in the shade aren't sufficient safeguards.

3. A child’s body temperature can rise up to five times faster than an adult’s. A child dies with a 107 degree body temperature.

4. Even if it’s in the 60s outside, your car can still heat up to well above 110 degrees.

5. It only takes a 57-degree outside temperature to cause heatstroke.

6. On an 80-degree day, temperatures inside a vehicle can reach deadly peaks in 10 minutes.

 My suggestions would be

·         If you cannot take your pet into the place you are going, leave it at home.

·         Never… ever… leave a child in the car. 

Perhaps a teenager, who can recognize and act on the need to get out of a hot car would be okay, or maybe even a ten year old who can reason and act, but NEVER a child young enough to be strapped into a car seat. I remember what a pain it was to wake up a toddler who had fallen asleep in the car just to run into the store for some diapers.  It’s tempting to think you will be “right out.”  Nope.  Don’t do it.  You may see a friend and get chatting.  You never know.  Don’t tempt fate.  It’s too dangerous.

·         When everyone piles out of the car, be sure to see that each one is in the house, or yard.  Make sure they ALL got out of the car.

 Also, remember the disabled and the elderly.  Check on family, friends, and neighbors on hot summer days. Make sure they are okay. It’s just the right thing to do because summer heat can be deadly.

 *Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

Blast from the past, still good advice!

This is a post I came across that is still very true today, except our oldest granddaughter is now 10!  I enjoyed the reminder of her young behavior...

A Little Encouragement Can Go A Long Way

Webster’s Dictionary states:  Encourage-vb  1. To make bold  2. To urge on  n-encouragement.

I really would have thought there would be more definitions for this.  I just feel that encouragement can be so many things, but I suppose it is as defined, just shown in many ways.

I’m sure you’ve noticed I love to use my two year old granddaughter as an example.  I have seen her little face go from determination to defeat, but with persistence it then goes to victory all in the span of about three minutes.  She will set out to accomplish something, open a container, reach an item on the counter, put a puzzle piece in, you know – that sorta thing.  She is trying so hard, but when it doesn’t happen quickly she will say “I can’t do it” and give up.  Depending on whether she’s had her nap that day or not, there are a couple different ways to handle this.  Let it go at “I can’t” and do it for her, to which she will usually reply “thank you.”  Ask her if she would like some help, which will either get a “yes, will you help me?” or a “no, I can’t do it – you do it.”  Or, encourage her to try again – especially if it is something I know she can do.  I tend to go the encouragement route, sometimes she may need a little help as well, but most times she just needs that verbal confirmation that I believe in her and think she can do it.  More times than not, with a halfway descent attempt, she can accomplish her goal… and when she does - oh the triumphant joy that comes across her face is picture worthy. 

That sense of accomplishment is such a wonderful feeling, it just bolsters you up and makes you puff up your chest and say “Wow – I did it!” 

Encouragement is not just for little children either.  School aged kids often need a little encouragement.  I remember being the last person on the softball team to strike out and lose the game, ugh.  That feels horrible.  The proper perspective on that may not be easily seen by someone wallowing in self pity because the whole team blames them.  A simple “you’ll get ‘em next time”  (followed by an ice cream – grin) can help out a lot.

Teens?  HA!  I remember trying to teach my older boy to drive a stick shift, which is the vehicle we had for him to drive.  Oh boy, the first time he tried it – stall… stall….. jerk, jerk, whiplash, stall.  That was it!  He jumped out of the car, slammed the door and yelled something about the stupid car. Chuckle.  That was it for that day, but we kept at it and I continued to tell him he could do it, he just needed to practice.  Now, yup – you guessed it – he drives a stick. Grin. 

How about adults?  Sure, we all could use some encouragement.  This article actually came about because two total strangers gave me some encouragement about my business last weekend.  One gentleman said to me, “Excellent.  Good job.  Keep working your passion.”  The other wrote, “Please keep up the good work.”  It’s nice to get some encouraging words about your work.

Well, I’m sure you get the point and I’ve gone on long enough.  Just remember your words can build someone up or tear them down, use them carefully.

Easily Offended

  Why is it that it seems people are more easily offended than they used to be? 

 Could it be that social media has allowed people to express themselves more than necessary?  It used to be if you wanted to recognize a special day, you sent someone a card.  Now we take the easy way out and make a general “post” to the world.  That certainly reaches more people, but it also leaves the door open to others expressing their opinion about your opinion.

 For example:

A couple years ago I posted to my social media pages “Happy Valentine’s Day!”  I received many nasty comments about how insensitive I was being to those who had recently broken up with their significant other, or who were single but searching.

Similar situations have occurred when I posted “Happy Mother’s Day” or “Happy Father’s Day.”

 I agree that those special days may not be filled with happy thoughts for some people, and they are allowed to feel however they choose about it.  I admit, though, that the negative comments have caused me to stop posting general special occasion posts (with the exception of Merry Christmas).  Yes, that is a choice I made, but why did I even have to make a choice?

 You know, it’s possible to see something on social media that you don’t agree with and keep scanning.  You do not have to comment on everything you see!  There is certainly no need to berate someone because they have a different opinion than yours.  Sure, Like, Love, Laugh, Sad, and Angry tabs are all right there for you to push on, but to take someone to task for wishing the community a “Happy Valentine’s Day” is really just trying to push your opinion on others.  Post your opinion on your page, and let others post their opinion on their page.  It really is that simple.

 If you want to use social media, post your sentiments directly to a person’s page, like you would for their birthday. Or, go back to the old fashioned way and help out the US Post Office.  Send your Valentine, Mother, Father, whoever a card, or give them a call, or both.  Everyone likes a card or a phone call, it’s more personal.

 You can continue to post general public well wishes for special occasion days, (perhaps you’re more brave than I am), but be prepared for those who are easily offended to point out why what you posted was insensitive to them and others.  Me?  I’ll send cards.

Race Relations

 I recently saw a documentary about race relations.  It was predominantly about the relationship between police officers and African-American men.

 Both groups acknowledged the problem and offered reasons that they exist, but few solutions were offered on how to change things for the better.

 I suppose there are decades of past problems that continue to be discussed among families and stories of “wrongs” get passed down and live on through children.  Feelings and beliefs get passed down as well as learned behavior.  However, people are not born hating each other.  Hatred is a learned behavior.

 I believe the question is, “How do we change the story?”

 Personally, I have not lived the life of a person of color (any shade).  I only have my life that I know and understand.  Someone recently told me they were studying the differences that culture has on children’s education.  I had never even considered that possibility!  I imagine that the way people are raised, at home, and their belief system could make their learning experience different, even in a diverse school setting.  Interesting don’t you think?

 I don’t believe myself to be a person who judges someone else by the color of their skin.  I even point out to people, during a conversation, if they are jumping to conclusions about someone because of their skin color, cultural upbringing, or religion.  Yes, there are similarities among people groups, but everyone is an individual.  You cannot judge a group by the actions of one person.  Remember the Osmond Brothers song… “One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch, girl.”

 We must stop the hatred.  We need to stop the fear.  We can stop the misunderstanding.  We have to find a way to move positively forward!

 Much as we expect politicians to “reach across the aisle” we should expect the same of ourselves.

How about…

·         Going out for coffee with a coworker and getting to know them better

·         Asking a neighbor over for dinner, or to watch a sports game on TV

·         Attend a different church than usual

 Getting to know people helps stop the misunderstanding, which should stop the fear, and could stop the hatred.

We will never break the stories of poor race relations without stopping the reasons for the stories of abuse by others to be passed down through families.

Responsibility

 The Oxford Dictionary states this definition, among others:

The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.

 I recently shared a video of Richard Pimentel telling the story of his Sergeant’s definition, and I love it! 

 Sergeant Parker asked, “Do we have the ability?”  Pimentel answered, “Yes.”

 Sgt. Parker continued, “Then what is our response?”

 What a great way to think of it!  Responsibility no longer feels like a burden.  It is a response you choose, based on your abilities.  How cool is that?!

 Rather than reinvent the wheel, or repeat the whole video (or plagiarize it), you can watch it HERE.

 I highly recommend taking 5mins out of your day to watch this.  It will challenge your thinking and make you smile.

 That’s what we like to do… help others move positively forward. Grin.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*